- The do's and don'ts of dating after 50 - CNN
- My son won't speak to me because I'm dating a man his age
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- The do's and don'ts of dating after 50
I don't want to have to worry about whether the kid will like me, or worry about how breaking up might affect him or her if they get attached, or worry about the mother's involvement and any drama there. My question is, is it wrong to not give a seemingly great guy a chance simply because of this factor? Or is it a reasonable deal-breaker coming from someone's who's not yet ready for kids?
Delete Report Edit Lock Reported. Respond Your response must be between 3 and characters. No, a lot of women feel like you do. A lot of men don't want to for the exact same reason. Delete Report Edit Reported Reply. With my friends and I its primarily that the woman will never be the priority in the man's life. If he has adult kids it would be a little different.
I am basically hell bent on it and have determined that if I never meet the right one I am perfectly find being alone. Is he ready to date? He may say yes, but you will tell by his actions.
The do's and don'ts of dating after 50 - CNN
Does he have good boundaries with his baby mama? Also, you don't want to find yourself raising someone else's kid when there's no future with the child's father. So you'll need good boundaries as well. Talk about her trying to be a good stepmom while he is busy with the baby mommy or other women! Then comes the number of kids. If you have 2 and he has 1 then its harder on him to go from 1 to 3! Then comes the age factor. If yours are older and his are young then you wouldnt want to deal with the young stuff all over again because hey, fair enough, you've done the little kid thing and we all accept that its hard.
But if you both make a plan or something that works for you both without letting the kids rule your relationship, then it works well. Many kids do try to manipulate a new relationship and break the couple up. Pretty common but you both need to keep a united front and make it work. Throw in a vindictive ex!
My son won't speak to me because I'm dating a man his age
Its hella work though! I never wanted to date men with kids Also my stepson is just such a great young man. I cannot even imagine not having them both in my life. SpacedInvader Send a private message. Depends on your age. If you're in your 20s, i can understand. I'm 30 so getting toward that age, not quite there yet. I am 45 and I meet lots of men without kids. My friends and I are over 35 and meet plenty of men without kids. It depends upon location etc. I don't think what you want is unreasonable at all. When I was younger, I would not have dated a woman with children for those very reasons.
Now that I'm older it would be a challenge to find women without children.
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Most have 2 or more. One of friends has 2 of his own and his gf soon to be married gf has one. She and her kid will be living together with him while his kids visit. They stay mostly with the mom. She is a cool step mom with whom they have fun when possible. The 2 kids tried to break them up. Too much drama but my friend stood by his gf and was attentive enough to see what his kids were doing even though they were very sneaky about it. In an effort to make up , they give entire control of their future to their kids.
Kids grow and leave. A wise parent plans and keeps focus. This is what kids need to be made understood.
Its worth the challenge. LadyKat Send a private message. You want an unencumbered time as before you raise YOUR kids. After my son was in school, I discussed adopting more children as I couldn't have any more babies. He considered for a time. Then he said, "I don't think I can feel the same about another guys kids. He thought more and came back and said, "The thing is If you don't want to date women with kids, you shouldn't do it.
You are entitled to have criteria.
The do's and don'ts of dating after 50
If kids are a deasl breaker, so be it. Not wrong, it is your life. Now what I would recommend is that you might find that it is not as much of a deal breaker as you think, when you actually meet the right girl. But it is fair, to require her to be pretty special. George Send a private message.
https://gistmachtakedi.ga Here's a brilliant idea. If he happens to have a child let him know that you don't want to meet the child until you are comfortable. If you feel like things aren't going your way there's no loss. Flumoxed Send a private message. It's actually quite adult to know yourself and what you prefer in an adult relationship. I'm reminded of an axiom don't recall to whom to attribute it that bemoaned, "women take more care in researching and choosing a household appliance than a future husband. DVS Send a private message. One of my close friends was divorced with no kids. At the time, she was She then met this divorced guy with 4 kids.
I am a parent with one child and even for me, dating someone with 4 kids would have scared the hell out of me. But their personalities had a lot to do with this I guess. The kids are still loved and cared for.
They have all their basic needs met. But nothing beyond that. So, with that type of parenting approach and her accommodating behavior, this seems to work for them and they seem to really like each other. So, I guess you never know Edited on January 11, at HikerVeg Send a private message. You are free to use whatever criteria you want to screen men for dating. When you get older, you may need to soften your deal breakers. If you meet a man with a kid, pay attention to what kind of parent he is.
This is just as important to how the kids behave. Kingslayer Send a private message. Does he have physical custody of the kid? I generally advise men to not date single moms because of the very reasons you cite above. Although I think some of the dynamics are different with a single father. If the father only has the kid a few days a week at most, I don't see why you can't take trips together and be selfish for a bit.
Although you'll also have to understand that at some point with a single father, you will have to agree to some responsibility over the child. Are you meeting good men who do not have kids? If so, it is not a problem.
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If I'm being honest not really, no Most of my friends who found their guy pre, no kids, post he had kids. And, in my experience, this is the best age yet for flying solo.